I'm complaining.

I'm having one of those days where everything is getting to me. I keep thinking about where I wish I was with my life and being unsatisfied. Sadly, I even regret getting a degree in college. I've been looking for a new job for a while. Even before I was let go from the last one. I have had a couple of interviews but I still don't have the qualifications others do to get the job. Having this degree, I think, has actually made me overqualified for common jobs I would  be happy to take. Apparently being a pre-med student hurts me too. One person actually told me they wouldn't hire me because I wasn't going to be a "lifer" at their company. How idiotic...

I have been having to deal with the mistake of ever getting married too. My ex is the dumbest person alive. I can't believe how selfish he is and how much he doesn't care about his own son. He actually thought leaving pain pills and a loaded gun on the counter of his home with his son there was a brilliant idea. Oliver is too freaking smart to not figure it out especially if he watches someone else mess with it first. I can only hope he has good enough role models around him to not be like that when he is older.

Thanks to the financial burden of going through a divorce and the bills I got left with...I still leave in my parents' home. I'm thankful I have parents nice enough to let us live here, but I never expected to live here this long. I imagined Oliver and I moving out this year, but now that doesn't seem like reality anymore. I'm so unhappy here.

If someone was to ask me five years ago where I was going to be today I would have thought married, with two kids living in a home of our own, working towards medical school/ PA school and with a half decent job in the medical field. And here I am a single mom of one, jobless, living at home with my parents, and taking one class a semester. No, I haven't forgot that I have an amazing kid who is smart and healthy. I have the best boyfriend who is always there and loves me very much. I wish things had turned out better....now all I can hope is that it will get better...

Birthdays and stuff..

This year is already not friendly. I was pretty busy to start off. Zack's birthday was the 8th of January and we celebrated the following weekend. I got us a hotel room so we could relax and not have to worry about everyone else. We went to dinner at Squatters and then to Club Habits. It was fun!

Oliver's birthday was on the 18th of January. We celebrated at Kangaroo Zoo with his friends and family. He had way too much fun!

I lost my job the following Monday for no reason. Yep, no reason. My boss didn't give me one and a couple days later  when I talked to my manager he didn't know why. They even told unemployment that. I feel used and abused. Nuf said.

For Valentine's Day Zack and I went to Rodizio Grill and the movie Safe Haven. Zack gave me a gorgeous promise ring and a box of chocolates. I gave him a big bag of candy/food and a gift card for dinner one night. It was nice to have one good Valentine's Day in my life. Something always goes wrong every year and this year nothing bad happened.

Playing Catch Up...

Wow, I have really gotten behind in blogging....my bad! Here is pretty much the last 3 months in a nut shell....

Zack finally decided we could be girlfriend and boyfriend. Funny short story...text message @ 2:30am "I told my friends you're my gf is that ok?" Yep....lol

October was fun and of course, my favorite. We went to Novali's b-day party where Oliver got to feed the trout fish and pick out a pumpkin. He picked the smallest one he could find...

 Lindsay, Shirley, Lauren and I ran The Night of the Running Dead. We were 80's neon zombies. It wasn't the best race, but it was a better course than the past races. It was one of my faster times and the worse place I've ever placed. Not sure if I will do this again....

 For Halloween Oliver dressed up as the Sorcerer Mickey Mouse from Fantasia. I made the costume myself, I thought it turned out well. The Hirst/"Sesame Street" family came with us. It was so much fun!

Zack planned my birthday this year because I hate my birthday therefore I refused to plan anything. He did a great job though. He took me to SLC to Red Iguana for dinner with all our friends and then The Hotel/Club Elevate after. It was the worst snow storm of the century, but almost everyone made it.

  

 My handsome boyfriend. :)


I ran in the Santa Run this year too. Everyone dresses up in Santa suits and runs a 5k. It was fun, but I was out of shape. We stayed to watch the parade and got the best picture ever. :)

 My dad took the whole family down to SLC for my mom's b-day. We went to dinner at Spaghetti factory and went on a carriage ride to look at all the lights.

                                                                      Best looking kid :)

Christmas was awesome. Oliver got more than he wanted and so did I. Zack got me an Owl Key (off of my pinterest page) and an infinity ring with "now and forever" carved on the inside (also from Pinterest) and then plus some. He went all out. Hoping to have a wonderful New Year and wishing everyone else one as well....

Dirty Dash

 Sept. 22nd was The Dirty Dash. It was awesome! We were The Price is Dirty! which consisted of Price is Right contestants. We have 13 of us: Me, Jenny, Trevor, Mike, William, Jakki, Shelby, Makinley, Bridger, Janilee, Abby, Brooke and Mackenzie. And can't leave out Zack, our photographer. lol It was fun and can't wait for next year. Maybe we can recruit more people to come. :D


These were before the race...

And this is after!

Jenny and I in the mud pit finish.

Why do things have to be so complicated?

I mean, honestly, why do people have to make things to freaking complicated for others and themselves? This is something that has been going on in my head for awhile and decided I needed a little venting here whether anyone reads this or not. OK so first why do the people who are closest to us, like our friends, have to be complicated? If you are mad just say so. If your friend means anything to you you should. Doesn't have to be a fight but just a heads up kind of thing. Second, why do you guys have to be complicated? They say girls are confusing! Ha! Right...sorry but guys are kind of dumb when it comes to girls. I mean GEEZ! Guys! Think! I read a article in Cosmo magazine about how guys want to have their careers, buy their house, whatever before they commit to anything serious with a girl. OK to a point I get this, but on the other hand why is it so hard to admit you like the girl and want her in your life? Not every girl wants to run to the alter or pop out babies when you say anything. And another thing, when a girl says something to hint about something that might make her mad just don't do it. Save everyone the headache.

To all my girls having a rough 2 weeks....

Roy Days!

Thanks Linz for the picture! :)

August 4th was Roy Days. It is always a busy day for me. I went and ran in the 5K again this year. I took 3rd place in my age group and 11th place overall. I was stoked! I won a soccer pack filled with socks, shinguard sleeves, shirt, shorts, hat and tape. I also won $300 Larry H. Miller package that included Jazz tickets, 10 free movie passes and 2 meal deals. It was sweet!!!

I then ran home to get my 1929 Ford Roadster for the car show. I didn't win anything but I got a free t-shirt and goodies.

That night was the Jones' 3rd annual Luau. The food was AMAZING! I ate way too much. Oliver had fun playing with the mist/hose and the other kids. Zack came home early enough from Vegas and was able to come over. He stayed and walked over to the fireworks with us. Oliver finally decided he likes fireworks. It was so fun!

It was seriously such an AMAZING day!

Super Busy Weekend!

Wow! What a fun and busy weekend! It was Oliver's weekend with Andy so I dropped him off on Friday evening and meet Ashley for dinner at Wing Nutz (YUMMY!). It was so great to see her. We don't get together often since she lives in Orem. Then I had to race down to Bountiful to pick up my racing packet. I woke up at 5:30am so I could get down to Bountiful for my 10K that started at 7:30am. It was Race for Grief (Infant and pregnancy loss) and I ran in loving memory of Miracle Dan Jones (Lindsay and Tyler's angel). Lindsay had asked me forever ago and I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Everyone at the race had shirts made or a name written on their shirt. I wore a Miracle Dan button, bracelet and wrote on my shirt. I ran it in 58 minutes and got 10th place out of 20. I was pretty impressed with my time being my first REAL 10K. My knee hated me afterwards but I'm going to have to learn to just deal with the after pain. I also received two blisters on the bottom of my toes from my shoe getting soaked from a puddle I didn't see. Bad luck. Ha!

Our friends - Jenna and Jorge

Fortunately I got to go home, shower, eat and take a nap before I headed up to Park City with Zack. Derek, who we both went to school with, got married. It was at the Red Pine Lodge which we had to ride a gondola up to. It was super fun! They had a photo booth, dancing and dinner. Wedding was on the bridge over a small river. It was amazing. I'm glad I got to go as Zack's date. ;)

OK funny story....keep going....

Zack and I

Derek (the groom) and I

OK so Zack left to go to the restroom and Derek asked me to dance. As soon as the dance was over. Zack came back. A little bit later Zack goes to the restroom again and I'm talking to Jorge (red shirt) and before I know it Derek stole my camera out of my purse and is trying to take a picture of us. Then hands it to Jorge to take a picture (3 pictures up) then tells Jorge to take one more and gives me a surprise kiss on the cheek! I was a lucky girl....two kisses by two wonderful guys in one night. ;) It was funny though. Good times....

Busy Busy!

Wow!Summer is just flying by! I can't believe that June is almost over. Oliver and I have been busy. At the start of June my parents paid for Oliver and I plus my sister and her kids to go to Disneyland. It was a little rough. We missed our flight to Long Beach by about 5-10 minutes because the self-check machine was having problems and didn't print one of our boarding passes. We ended up getting in 3 hours later into Orange County. Later that day we went to Laguna Beach and walked around. Oliver was fascinated with watching his cousins play in the water, but he didn't want to join too much. The next 3 days were spent at Disneyland. Oliver got to meet (3) Mickey Mouse (Fantasia, Lifeguard and normal Mickey), Minnie Mouse, Daisy Duck, Stitch, Pluto, Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore and Tigger. He also went on all the rides he could. He did really well. He did want to be carried the entire time which was annoying, but it worked out. He really enjoyed hanging out with his cousins since he doesn't see them very often. 

Oliver and I also went to Roy Aquatic with Jenny and Trinity. We had fun even though it was windy and we got burnt. Me the most. Oops....

I feel super busy even though I'm not in school right now. I've been working, volunteering, playing soccer twice a week and running...a lot! Not sure what I will do once school starts again. I'm thinking I may have to drop volunteering or rearrange something different. I'm running a 10k this weekend for Infant and Pregnancy Loss. My friend Lindsay asked me to do it in the Honor of Miracle Dan and of course I was honored and accepted! I'm worried about the heat and getting down there by 7:30am. That's so early! Should be fun though. I hope I do well! My knee hasn't been hurting too bad. Got myself a new knee brace and I have been running with it so my knee doesn't feel like it is going to collapse. After talking to my doctor (not a knee/sport med. doc) who has had the surgery recommend I don't do it if I can still run on it. She said she lost a lot of flexibility and now has hip problems from it. Who needs that?!

As of June 22, 2012 I am officially divorced! My sister got divorced the same day just a year earlier. How crazy is that?! I'm glad it is over and I'm hoping there won't be any problems in the future. Keeping my fingers crossed!

We also had to put my dog, Zachariah Son of Taz, down. He was 18 years old which is 5 years longer than they usually live. He had too many health problems and he was in bad shape. We said our goodbyes and gave him love. Now he is an angel dog. He was such a great dog. He helped my other dog out so much in his older days. Made sure the older dog ate and directed him. We will miss him! <3

I'll post pictures later to go with this blog. I'm on the wrong computer.....

2012 so far...

2012 so far hasn't been too bad. Oliver turned 2 on 1/18 and my family and I decided to take him to dinner for his birthday. We took him to Tepanyaki and he LOVED it! I don't think I've ever seen him eat so much! He loved watching the cook and food being thrown. Andy threw him a family birthday party too.

I've started to train Oliver to use a potty and it has been rough. He is scared to death to use the regular toilet so I bought him a little training potty. He likes it, but doesn't get the concept of telling me BEFORE he goes potty. He will tell me after though....like that does any good. I'm trying the sticker chart to see if that will help, but so far no extra progress.

Oliver is getting super smart! He can count to 10 all by himself. He can undress himself and he has started to make some pretty good sentences. I can pretty much understand what he needs. Although he is still kind of doing the whining phase and throwing a tantrum here and there, but it has been getting better.

Easter was a pretty big thing this year because Oliver could actually go egg hunting. Jessi and I decided last minute to take our boys to Dino park for their Easter egg hunt. Braedyn and Oliver had a blast! Jackie and Sam ended up coming too which was great to have a group of little kids in the same age range. Oliver was scared to death of the Easter bunny though. Maybe next year....

 Brae and Oliver

 Oliver picking up eggs

 Oliver happy with his eggs

 Jackie, Brae and Oliver

 Easter bunny, me, Oliver, Sam, Jessi, Braedyn and Jackie

It was super fun and it will be even more fun next year if I can get everyone to bring their kids! 

In other news...my divorce is still not finalized and I'm running out of patience. I would really like this all to be put behind me so I can move on with my life and do what I please. I don't dare do anything though because I'm always unsure of how much I'll have to pay my lawyer. Ugh....I'm hoping for something before the middle of May. Wish me luck!

Another year gone...

Wow, one more day of 2011 and it seems like it just flew by. Hasn't been the greatest year so I'm not too sad to see it go.

There was the sad....My cousin died from her fight with Ovarian cancer, Miracle Dan came into our lives until he returned home, my neighbor who was so good to me died from COPD, fights that will never be forgotten and my marriage ended up to not being a marriage at all.

There was the good...Lots of fun things with friends throughout the year, Ollie's play dates with Trinity, learning to push myself, running in some of the funnest races EVER! with friends and family, RENT with Casie, girls' night out, watching Oliver grow and learn as he turns into the smartest kid ever and finding the true friendships in my life that I will value forever.

Granted that's a HUGE summary, but I don't have the energy to write it all. For the upcoming year I hope for more fun times with Oliver, potty train him, find a new/better job, run in some more races than last year, have more girls' night outings even if it's only to dinner or the movies, be divorced and free to do what I want with my life and be happier with my life.

Happy 2012 and may it be a happier one for everyone!

Thanks for giving

This year has been quite an interesting one. Even though it hasn't been the best year there are things I can still say I'm am overwhelmingly thankful for and since it is Thanksgiving....
I am thankful for...
1. My friends who are there for me no matter how far away they live or how busy their life might be. They have more shown me more support than most of my family and listen to me when I need to rant and rave! I love you gals!
2. My mind finally kicking me and giving me the courage to end a relationship that wasn't good for me to be in. I didn't realize what I was doing to myself until I was no longer in that situation.
3. My close family members who have helped me tremendously with giving me a place for me and my son to lay our heads at night, put food in our bellies and the freedom to go to school.
4. Running which has been the cheapest therapy for me this year. Even though my knee was injured early this year running has been helping with not only my knee pain but my stress as well. I also got to do a couple of 5ks and a 10k which were all so fun!
5. Most important of all this year is my son Oliver who is the reason I am stronger and better person every day for. Without him I would be lost in this world. He saved my life and every day I am thankful for that.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

11/11/11

Today 11/11/11 is my 26th birthday. I have decided to write a little blog about my life in the past 26 years. I was 3 weeks late so I should have been born in October. My dad was hoping I would come someday soon so he could have a day off from his busy work schedule. I finally came on 11/11 which was his day off anyway. Ha Ha! Sorry Dad!

Later on I got my first dog Tippy who was my reward for being potty trained by the age of 2. Shortly after my dad taught me how to ski which is something we did a lot of back then. I began preschool and started hanging out with Lindsay. Our moms were great friends. We also swam a lot in my pool in the backyard and rode around in my Jeep until we started school. Yes Lindsay this is you. :D
I started kindergarten and started playing soccer. Throughout the years of school I met new friends and lost some old ones. It was quite the journey when you change your group of friends and it was difficult but I believe it got me to the best friends I have today.

I had a lot of fights with some of my family members which made me into the person I am today. I wasn't going to stand there and be told I wasn't this or that. Having to defend myself helped to encourage me to be better than anyone else. I would say I'm still doing this in a way.

After high school I went to Weber State University and received a Bachelors degree in Psychology and a minor in art. A month later I found out I was pregnant with Oliver and I was scared to death. I wasn't sure how people would take it and even though I wanted to be a mom I wasn't sure I was ready. 4 months into my pregnancy I got married to Andy and the following January on Martin Luther King Day I had Oliver Andrew Crow. Boy, was that an amazing experience. As scared as I was it was the best thing I have ever done and gone through. And I'm glad I didn't have to have a C-section either. :D

A year later my battle with my marriage would get the best of us. Andy moved out in February and I filed for divorce several months later after several things were said and done. Even though it didn't work out, I'm so happy I got Oliver out of it. He (in a way) saved my life and he IS my life. I also picked up some AMAZING friends along the way. Without them I would be crazy. Literally.

After Oliver was born I decided to do more with my life for both Oliver and I. I started back to school to pursue medical school. As intimidating as it is I hope I can do it without breaking down. I've been in school way too long and would love to finally be in something I'm interested in doing the rest of my life. It would help Oliver and I to be in a better place in the future.

Today being 11/11/11 is one of the coolest things. Not many people would ever get a birthday like this one in their life time. Makes me which I would have held out for Ollie's birthday to be 2/2 but oh well. Too late. I feel like I've been through a lot. Love, loss, grief, anger, happiness... I'm hoping the next 26 years are good to me...

October

October is over! I can't believe it! I did some pretty fun things for October. On the 15th Lindsay, Lauren and I did "Night of the Running Dead" where we dressed up as zombies and ran a 5k. I did the Huntsman Hometown Hero which I raise money for cancer research and then they pay my entrance fee into the race. I ended up raising $350, THANKS FAMILY! Anyways...We all wore cheetah pattern dresses and ripped them up and had our zombie makeup done. We entered a group costume contest and made it to the top 5, but didn't win. :( For the race you could run as a human or zombie and the humans started 2 minutes before the zombies so it looked as if the zombies were chasing them. Hilarious!



I ended up running the race in 23 minutes and 10 seconds finishing 15th in my age group and 101st overall (guys and gals/living and undead). I felt pretty good about it. Can't wait until next year!

Lindsay and Tyler had a Halloween party at their house again this year. Ollie was a cow and I was a cowgirl (pictures below). The food was delicious and Ollie had too much fun. Ha Ha!

I love Halloween. It is seriously my favorite holiday. No joke. We had the opinion of dressing up at work so I did. Duh! I wore the shirt I got from the race (previously mentioned) and went as a zombie runner."If you can't beat 'em, EAT 'EM!"
I did my own make-up.

Later that night Jenny, Trevor and Trinity came over and went Trick-or-Treating with Ollie and I around the neighborhood. It was so fun! They were the Flintstones. Awesome idea. Trinity would say "trick-or-treat" and Ollie said "thank you bye" so together they made an awesome team.

Our costumes

The Dirty Dash

It was the most AWESOME thing ever! Seriously this is one of the funnest races! Our team was called the "Mud Bloods" and we dressed up in white shirts/tanks and bandannas (mostly red). It was a 6.2 mile race with something like 40 obstacles and all in the mud. The first obstacle was the mud pit and I'm guessing this was to just ensure you were caked in mud by the end. You jumped/climbed bales of hay, slid into mud holes, climbed through mud tunnels, climbed wooden walls or went under them, climbed a rope wall, rope swings, walked through a swamp and best of all the slop-n-slide! My sister however got super hurt on the slide and we ended up walking to the finish line as a team of course! I think she cracked some ribs or something like that. Yikes! Anyway here are some pictures...This is the finish line- you had to go through a gigantic mud pit to get there.

My shoes (original color is blue), legs, shorts...

Shelby and I after the race. :D

I can't wait for next year to do it again!

Can I have a job?

Today was my day off from work and I didn't have an overwhelming amount of homework so I decided to apply for jobs galore! Yes, they are all medical related and some of them are even jobs I've had interviews for in the past couples months so whoever they chose must have not worked out or switched jobs. I'm hoping for a second chance. My aunt also works for Mountain Medical and forwarded my resume to a doctor's office looking for a office assistant which would be great. Don't know too much about it but it would be great to get a job in something I actually want to do.

I hate going into interviews and everything they ask me I have to relate back to something at the restaurant instead of medical. Since they haven't worked in the food industry (at least most of them) they don't understand and they don't think I'm qualified. We'll see.

Okay, time for cleaning!

What's up

Well I have officially started my new volunteer job at McKay Dee. I give couples tours of the delivery, labor and postpartum floor and answer their questions. It is WAY better than the ICU even though some of the couples are interesting... It gives me so many memories of having Oliver and my time there. I just can't believe it has been 20 months ago! WOW!

I am running the Dirty Dash a week from tomorrow with my sister and her ex-in-laws (and friends). I'm REALLY excited and can't wait. It is going to be awesome! I also recently signed up to run a 5k "Night of the Running Dead" as a Huntsman Hometown Hero. I'm raising money for cancer research which is such a good cause. Not many people are helping out though so hopefully they will before my race!

I had another job interview for McKay Dee and I'm assuming I didn't get it because I haven't heard back. I'm okay with it though because if I had gotten the job I would have to work Christmas morning and that would be so sad with Ollie this year.

Wednesday we went to the Utah State Fair because Oliver has been on the cow and horse kick. We figured that would be the best thing for him to see them up close. He was hilarious! He got so excited! I bought him a mini horse pillow pet and my parents bought him a mickey mouse maraca and a horse to play with. Then we each got a shirt. We ate some carni-food. It was fun. Maybe we'll go again next year!

I never thought

I never thought that the things I used to hate I would actually enjoy when I got older. I used to hate running even though I played soccer, but soccer is more than just running. Now I'm running 3+ miles every day I run and I love how I feel afterward. Stress is gone at least until someone brings something up again. :/

I also HATED with a passion- reading. You would never catch me reading a book on my own freewill. Now, if I can find an interesting book about a subject I'm interested in then I read it! I'm reading a hilarious book by Tina Fey. I recommend it already even though I haven't finished it. It makes you cry from laughing too hard. Love!

On another note....

I've switched my volunteer job so I am no longer in the ICU. Thank goodness! People were just getting more and more strange. I now am giving tours of the labor and delivery and postpartum floor to those who are about to have their baby. I'm actually really excited. I don't have to sit for 4 hours which will be nice for my knee since it gets angry if I sit too long. Plus I will feel like I'm actually helping instead of sitting there babysitting. :)

It's official

Oh yeah it's official I'm filing for divorce. Everyone seems to be afraid to ask or maybe it is they just don't care, but it's out in the open now. He is not the man I married- I don't know where that man went. But wherever he went a part of me went with him. I don't want to go into too much just hey FYI- now you know. Crap happens...or doesn't which is sometimes the problem. [Sigh] Moving on...

Roy Day

I started off my Saturday off in Roy running my first 5K at Roy Days. Lindsay, Tyler, Lauren, Spencer, Tina and Jennifer all ran as well. It was so fun! I finished 13th in my age group and 69th overall which I felt pretty good about. I felt pretty good all day after that, but woke up this morning with a little knee pain. Grrrr......

After the race I took my 1929 Ford Roadster to the car show with my dad (in his '55 Chevy). They have a mini carnival and vendors next to it where my dad bought Ollie some toys and a backpack (with a leash attached). We didn't win anything that we know of since they said awards were at 3 and everyone had packed up and left by then. Idiots...

I drove home in the blazing heat and was more sweaty than I was from my race. I finally got to shower and get ready for the luau. Lindsay and Tyler held a luau at their home also in Roy! There was lots of people and really good food! We had to leave early and not stay for fireworks because I had a final to take. Yuck!

Such a smart boy!

He really is the smartest kid. He is 18 months and 2 days old today. He is talking A LOT! And since he is talking and trying to learn new words I have decided to try and teach him things he is doing. Therefore I have taught him what "poopy" means and he now tells me when he is pooping. So I have now decided I will be potty training Ollie soon. I figured if he can tell me then he can definitely be trained. Plus I would love to have him trained within the next year so I don't have to worry about diapers and worry about training him in the middle of my stressful medical school applying.

Other words he says are ball, hi, no-no, yeah, drink, food, bink (binky), bed, soft, naughty, nice, bye-bye see ya, stinky, poopy, kitty (plus meow), dog (plus ruff-ruff), cracker, cookie, mom, pop-pop (grandpa), mama (grandma), up, down, book, baby, shoe, sock and that's all I can think of off the top of my head. :D

We went to the elementary school by our house and played on the playground for the first time. He LOVED the slide. He went down all by himself and sometimes even head first which scared me. He was so good. Once he got tired he asked to get in the stroller so we could walk back home. How I LOVE my little guy!